Boiled down, you list 3 unforgeable proofs the users may offer:
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Cash (sats): proof of fee payment, the default, what we use now
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Coindays: proof of holding
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Hashing (grinding low TX hashes): proof of work at the user level
and claim all of these have value and could therefore be used as “payment” for fees. I disagree. Cash is king, and only cash contributes to common security, because only the fee adds to blockchain’s chainwork state, which underwrites the immutability property. Now let me dismantle both coindays and hashing 
What do users “have” in coindays? Why should coindays be worth something to anyone?
I never understood the obsession with coindays as if they imbue coins with some magical extra value. A coin having high coindays means the owner held on to it for a long time, that’s it. Doing nothing is all it takes to accrue them. How much is doing nothing worth? Why should “we” (the network as a whole) give someone credit for that?
If anything, maybe we should charge them. They were away from the network while “we” kept their coin safe, at a non-zero cost to “us.” Gold vaults don’t pay interest on long-held deposits. They charge fees, because maintaining a vault has costs. The presence of a long-held UTXO in the state imposes a small ongoing cost on every other user’s transaction processing. The least someone can do when finally moving their coin is pay the fee like everyone else, rather than expect a discount.
To this you may retort that gold coins have greater numismatic value as time goes on. But it is not comparable, because our UTXOs are indistinguishable (no TXID:vout has special value), and whatever coindays a coin accrued will be lost on transfer. It can’t be a payment when nobody receives it, it is destruction, all the metrics pages correctly call it coindays-destroyed. Compare to gold coins, where the coin’s history gets transferred together with the coin.
Users, or the “buyers” of block space
Are users really “buyers of block space,” or are they buyers of hashes?
Fees pay for hashes, nothing more, nothing less. When you go to a bazaar, you bring cash and leave with goods. Did you have to buy your slot for the trade first? No. The bazaar is maintained by volunteers who also happen to have stands where they sell goods, so helping maintain it serves their interest.
Users pay a fee, but it’s not for space, it’s for enforcing the common security policy of the bazaar: no returns. Only the security enforcers (hashers) get paid. The minimum relay fee isn’t the bazaar demanding payment for space: it’s congestion control. We don’t let you browse around only to buy nothing. Without block subsidy, our security will depend on this one-for-all-and-all-for-one pact. Each user’s transaction fee will contribute to security of not just his own TX, but everyone else’s TXs. Of course “we” want to allow as much contributions to this commons as we can handle, and in case of congestion favor higher contributions over lower.
There are 2 aspects of fee here:
- Contributing to common security
- Congestion control
Coindays and user-PoW may be useful only for #2, as they contribute 0 to common security but are still fundamentally unforgeable by spammers. But if we already have the fee for #1, why introduce a second mechanism for #2? The fee already handles congestion, a spammer must burn real resources either way. Adding coinday discounts just complicates the equation without buying us anything.
You already discarded this idea yourself by saying spammers could abuse the network due to access to better hardware, but that’s not the only issue. The fundamental issue is that this user PoW doesn’t contribute to common security, no amount of user-PoW in a block would increase difficulty of a reorg. It’s just proof-of-sacrifice, the user did something at a cost to himself and 0 value to us, and would make such offering to “us” to make an exception and let him do his business on the bazaar without paying for common security. But why would anyone need to make this sacrifice when they already have coins they can use for fees? Without coins, how would they do any business on the bazaar?
Miner’s PoW actually buys “us” something: the immutability property. It’s not just a sacrifice (or “waste”), each hash purchased adds to the network’s chainwork. User’s PoW buys us nothing. But users can also buy us immutability: by buying their PoW directly from miners. That’s the brilliance of Bitcoin’s design. Each satoshi paid as fee is actually a user-bought-PoW (at the current exchange rate given by difficulty/coinbase). Cash is king.